[Statistics] [Hydee] [Mossyth] [Discoveries] [Relative Love] [Of Babies] [Full Circle]

Hydee stretched, her hand reaching to touch the soft pillow beside her. She frowned at the absence of a body. “C’stian?” she asked groggily. Opening leaf-green eyes, she glanced at his side of the bed and blinked, Where is he?

Mossyth’s voice, roused from sleep by her rider’s thoughts commented dryly, I suppose he must have gone to lunch.

Lunch? But it’s... she glanced out the window and her face fell. Noon. Shards! Why didn’t you wake me you useless flit?! she asked, not really annoyed with the green. She sprang out of bed, then cursed herself for doing so as the world spun a little too fast for her liking. When it had calmed down, she ran into the small bathing room, washed her face and dressed quickly, all the way cursing under her breath.

What’s wrong with you? Mossy asked curiously. We’ve nothing planned for today...have we?

Hydee stopped in the middle of putting her pants on, one leg raised. “Erm ... no. We’re not.” She frowned. “I swear I had something to do. What was it?”

You would have told me about it, the dragon put in, yawning hugely. I don’t know what you’re getting stressed about. That time of the month I suppose, she added dangerously.

Hydee glared. It is _not_ that! she protested, finished dressing. Running a brush through the thick strands of hair not quite dark brown, but not quite honey either. She had often wondered just what colour her hair was.

Dragon coloured, Mossyth answered promptly, obviously referring to brown dragons.

That’s ridiculous! Browns come in all different shades!! You can’t call every shade a name!

Mossyth didn’t answer, just left a meaningful silence.

OK, alright, point taken, Hydee answered ruefully. She _hated_ losing!

She finished waking herself up and told Mossy she was going to the kitchens for some breakfast ... lunch.

Walking left her time to think, but all the greenrider could think about was her weyrmate. Where has he gone anyway? she thought irritably. Probably out gallivanting with those _friends_ of his, she thought with a frown. A few of C’stian’s mates hadn’t Impressed when he had and so hadn’t had the stability of a dragon to calm them - mature them. Although most were almost 30 turns now, they still had tendencies towards a 15 turns old juvenile delinquent. Annoying more than anything. While C’stian was fine with her, or with any of his rider friends, these guys just turned him into something else. Loud, obnoxious, juvenile, frustrating. The complete opposite of him. She really didn’t understand that. Especially his attitude towards her when they were around. She was either invisible or an object of way too many pinches and raunchy looks. I mean they’re fine in the bedroom, when we’re alone, Hydee thought testily, But with company? Uh-uh.

A man holding a large tray of something delicate looking was walking in the opposite direction and Hydee, caught up in her musings, didn’t notice him until it was too late.

“You clumsy fool!” he cried as some sort of fragile carving shattered on the hard rock ground. He looked at it in anguish and tried in vain to put some of the larger pieces back together.

Hydee blinked, unthinking. “You should have been watching where you were going,” she said rudely and stomped off.

The man stared after her, blinking.

A distance away, Hydee stopped suddenly. What is _wrong_ with me?! she thought in disbelief, cursing once more. She looked back but the man had almost cleared up the mess, a look of utter defeat on his face. Her eyes burned and she squinted them shut, warding away the unbidden tears. Get yourself together, Hydee, she told herself, clenching and unclenching her fists. What’s wrong with you? Early menopause?!

She stopped. Eyes wide. Brain ticking. “No. No it can’t be...”

The greenrider ran, no, sprinted the rest of the way to the kitchens, pleading with him to be there. She had to see him. Now. After all, if this was what she thought it was... But it’s not! she told herself rather hysterically. It can’t be! No, I’m just imagining it! But she wasn’t, she knew it.

First Mossyth’s comment the other day about her putting on weight, and now this: There was no other possibility. And that was the scariest thing of all.

“C’stian!” she called, out of breath. “C’stian are you here?” People turned and stared but she didn’t care. She had to find if it was the last thing she...

Well, there he was. He leaned over and kissed the girl on her cheek, very affectionately. She must be half his age for Faranth’s sake!

Hydee shook her head slowly, not wanting to believe what her eyes told her to be true. Her weyrmate, her love. Not him, please not him. She stepped backwards, knocking into a boy holding something that clattered to the ground. Mid-laugh, C’stian looked her way and his face fell as if some unseen force had suddenly pulled his face strings down. He rose, walked towards her, arms outstretched.

Hydee ignored the boy and moved further backwards, still shaking her head. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. Much too slow for her liking. She stopped momentarily, unsure of what to do, then she knew. Turning suddenly, she ran. Ran away from him, from her. From them. Tears welled in her eyes, blurring the path, blending it all into one murky colour, one emotion, one _thing._ Rolling down her cheeks, she angrily swiped them away with the back of her hand and kept going. She could hear the pounding of her own heart, loud in her ears, and beyond that, the pounding of a tall man’s feet behind her.

“Hydee!” a voice called faintly. “Hydee, wait! It’s not what you think...!” he said something else, but the greenrider didn’t care. She was far beyond that.

Suddenly she stopped, nearly falling over with the momentum. C’stian skidded to a halt and she turned sharply, her eyes puffy but intense. “Not what I think?” she asked, so quietly she could hardly hear herself. He reached out a hand towards her but she snatched her arm away violently. “Not what I THINK?!?!” Not longer quiet.

His mouth opened and closed, then shut solidly, not knowing how to respond. He’d never seen her like this before. If only he could just tell her ...

But there was obviously no reckoning with her. Not his Hydee.

She glared at him a moment longer, re-establishing her point, then turned on her heel and walked very quietly and calmly to her weyr.

The door didn’t close behind her, but a second later an array of men’s clothing and accessories came flying out the opening onto the ledge beyond. C’stian swallowed. Uhoh.

Hydee could think of nothing to do but one. Sob. So sob she did.

“Why is this happening to me?” she asked no one in particular. Maybe herself. “What did _I_ do?”

Mossyth grumbled angrily. Stop that, she commanded. This has nothing to do with you, he’s just...

“Nothing to do with me?!” Hydee snapped at the green. “Of course it’s me! If I was a better lover, a nicer person, something! Maybe he wouldn’t have done ... that.”

Mossy looked a little taken aback. I see, she stated, a little patronisingly. So it’s not his fault he’s a lying wherry’s bottom?

Hydee smiled a little at this comparison, and said ruefully. “I suppose not. Oh Moss, I just wish I knew why he did that?”

Well you didn’t give him a chance to tell you did you? she stated acerbically.

Hydee sighed. “I know, I’m sorry.”

I’m not the one you should be saying that to. By Faranth she was lucky to have Mossy around.

Again, “I know.” She paused. “But how can I ... after the way I treated him?” she asked, a lump rising in her throat.

I don’t know, the green admitted. But I do know one thing. If you don’t get him back now, your child will never have a father.

Hydee started. “My ... child? You think it’s ... you think?” she asked quietly, hope and a tinge of overwhelming happiness entering her voice.

Mossyth didn't answer, but smiled.

Her mouth curving of it’s own will at the thought of a baby, Hydee rose and straightened, once more splashing her face to reduce the red-rims around her eyes. “I can’t forgive him immediately, you know,” she pointed out to the dragon.

Of course. First you must get him to grovel a bit, then say you’ll think about it. Hold him by the strings, tickle his pleading side, she replied very seriously.

Hydee grinned. “Thanks, Mossy. I love you.”

I know, she said unselfconsciously. I love you too. Now get going before he moves in with this girl!

“Oh no you don’t,” Hydee said, eyes narrowed dangerously. Lips twitching, she marched outside.

Hydee took a deep breath and stepped outside, half expecting C’stian to be waiting patiently for her to come out. He wasn’t. She sighed and looked left and right. Nothing. “Where are you?” she asked worriedly under her breath. She hoped by Faranth that he hadn’t given up so easily and gone with that ... girl.

A fresh spurt of anger reddened her cheeks but she pushed it down, trying to breathe calmly. He must have gone back to the kitchen, she reasoned and headed that way, ignoring curious stares along the way. Well, she had been a little loud before, she admitted with a wry smile.

The dining area was as it had been, nothing changed. Well, except maybe for the one thing that mattered. C’stian was sitting, alone this time, his eyes closed as if in pain. Running a hand through his thick mousy hair, he slowly breathed out - Hydee could see it from where she stood. She stood stock still for a moment, then slowly took a step towards him, not knowing what to say; not caring.

He looked up and saw her coming, his eyes widening in surprise. He pushed his chair back suddenly, causing it to screech on the hard floor. “Hydee,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “Are you ... I mean what ...” He stopped, speech was not necessary.

Hydee opened her mouth, then closed it again. His eyes. His eyes gave him away. Although he tried to stand tall, brave, manly, his soft brown eyes were fathomless, staring into her own with such utter emotional despair that she wanted to cry. She shook her head slowly and, of it’s own accord, her arm rose and touched C’stian’s cheek, gently caressing.

He closed his eyes and felt all the absolute misery and despair melt away at her touch. Some part of his mind still functioning wondered how she did that, but the thought was crushed as were his lips by hers.

The greenrider pulled back from his embrace just enough to whisper, “Never again.”

C’stian nodded, completely numb yet at the same time felt so many opposing emotions crash through his system. Love for Hydee, pure animal lust, anger at her for hating him, hate towards himself for not telling her. He shook his head and, despite himself, grinned.

Hydee raised one eyebrow in surprise.

He looked at her chin, then raised his eyes and met her with a mischievous look. “Would you like to meet my sister, Hydee?”

“Your ... your sister?” the greenrider asked, a feeling of foolishness rising in her throat.

The girl from the table, the one he had kissed so casually, stepped towards her cautiously. She smiled hesitantly and held out her hand, perhaps a little afraid of the woman who had reacted so violently to her presence.

“Oh. Oh my,” Hydee said, her lips twitching. She turned towards her and hit herself mentally for not seeing the resemblance sooner. “Erm ... hi,” she said, holding out her hand to clasp it. “I’m Hydee.”

The girl, who must have been about 17 turns, smiled, a little more sure of herself. “Hello, I’ve  ... uh ... heard a lot about you.” She glanced out from under long dark lashes and grinned quietly. “I’m Katanna.”

“More klah?” Hydee asked politely, holding the pitcher towards their new guest 

“No, thankyou,” Katanna replied politely. She was a lovely girl, quite mature for her turns, with light auburn hair and brown eyes. A spattering of freckles across the nose, only slightly more feminine than C’stian’s, gave her a cheeky look, and although she tried to act sombre and ‘well behaved’, the occasional mischievous grin gave her away. She wasn’t _pretty_ as such, but was definitely a handsome girl. Quite tall, but with a figure to suit, curved and really quite lovely. Her skin was slightly paler than her brother’s, but that was mainly due to the fact that she was a Harper, spending most of her time writing music indoors.

C’stian spent the next few candlemarks telling his weyrmate all about his and Kat’s foster-parents and their childhood growing up in the Hold. The stories frequently went off on wild tangents, but Hydee just grinned and listened avidly. He didn’t often talk of his past.

While on one of these tangents, Hydee’s mind wandered. It wasn’t that she was bored, she reasoned with herself hastily, but there was definitely something she had to share. She subconsciously placed a hand lightly on her stomach, wondering if it really was true.

“C’stian,” she said suddenly, interrupting a recital of his first date.

He looked at her, a smile still on his face at the memories. “Yah-huh?”

She looked at her lover and took a deep breath, her eyes serious. C’stian raised his eyebrows. “Is something wrong?” he asked, concerned.

“No, no,” she replied hastily. Might as well get it out. “I... I think I may be... what I mean is... when we... that time the other week... C’stian, I’m going to have a baby.”

The brownrider’s mouth dropped and he stared in shock at his weyrmate. “A ... a baby? _Our_ baby?” She nodded, worried what his reaction would be. He swallowed, and she could see his brain ticking. Slowly a small smile spread over his lips. “Our baby. I’m... I’m gonna be a father?” he asked, incredulous.

Hydee grinned despite herself and nodded. “Well? What do you think?” He blinked. “Good or bad?” she prompted.

“Good or... good!! Of course it’s good! It’s wonderful!!” He stood suddenly and lifted her in his arms, swinging her around his body. He stopped abruptly and placed her back down. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t hurt it did I?”

She grinned. Oh thank Faranth. “Of course not, love. She’s not nearly big enough for anything yet.”

“You’re sure?” he looked at her a little dubiously, but she gave her the ‘I’m a woman and I know everything’ look. “Okay, you’re sure. Oh ‘Dee, this is amazing. A baby.”

“I guess this is the day for discoveries, eh?” Hydee said, smiling. “The baby and Katanna. Katanna?” she suddenly glanced around the weyr, conspicuously absent of the girl. “Uhoh.”

Katanna had heard the news, seen the joy on her brothers face and done the only thing she knew how to. She’d ran. Ran as fast as she could, as far away as possible.

She hadn’t told him about the reasons she’d arrived suddenly in the Weyr. He hadn’t asked, he knew her too well. The fact was, she hadn’t had as good a childhood as her brother. They had both been sent off to a foster home at an early age, and luckily a childless couple had been willing to take them both. However, C’stian was 11 at the time, she only 1 turn old. It might have seemed easier for her, not ever knowing her real parents, but it never was. As she grew older she found herself wanting more and more to know about her ancestry. C’stian - Celestian as the time - had fit in immediately, got new friends, kept them, lost them, at least he had a life. He had always been the strong one.

When she was 5 turns old, her foster father beat her. Broke her arm. He told her brother that she had fallen down the stairs and she had fumed - silently. Her mother knew, and she didn’t do a thing. Kat had known nothing could be done. They’d never believe her. The worst thing was, she knew she hadn’t deserved that slap, that bruise, that break. She knew it wasn’t her fault, and that made it harder to live with.

When she was 15 - two turns ago - she had slept with her then boyfriend for the first time. It was a wonderful experience, but it had ruined their relationship. However, it left her with a final parting gift. A baby. She had given birth to her son, Coren, almost 1 and a half turns ago, and hadn’t seen him since.

Of course by now C’stian had Impressed and moved to the Weyr, he knew nothing of the little boy. He also didn’t know that after Coren had been born, their foster parents had taken him away from her, raised him themselves. She had been evicted, thrown out of her own home. But this time was worse than the beatings, the neglect. This time she didn’t know _why_ they had done it. That baby was all she had, all she loved - besides her brother - and they had taken him.

She’d only had one choice. She had to come to C’stian, make him see. It’d been a long time coming, she knew, but had hesitated, taken refuge in an inn not far away. She’s waited, without knowing why. And then suddenly, she knew it was time.

That was three days before. Now it was different. Her big brother was having a baby of his own, he had a weyrmate, a life. No room for a little sister with a favour to ask.

She closed her eyes and lay down on the hard pallet of the same inn - familiar by now. Shaking her head she tried to sleep, knew it wouldn’t come. She’d tried again later - maybe when the baby was born. Then he’d know how she felt. Then he’d help her.

C’stian kicked himself again and again. He should have known something like this would happen. He knew her too well. Although Katanna had been outwardly a happy, normal child, he could read her eyes. When she had suddenly shown up a few days before he knew something was up. She hadn’t left home to tell him she’d missed him, that much he knew.

“She’ll be fine,” Hydee assured him for the dozenth time that night. But her face belied her words: She was just as worried about the girl as he was, although she’d only known her less than a day.

The two riders had gone out in search of Kat as soon as she’d disappeared, knowing something was up. But to no avail. They’d agreed to stay home for the night, in hopes she’d return - if she didn’t, they’d go to the Headwoman.

But as they lay in bed that night, neither could sleep.

Hydee’s mind invariably went back to her surprise pregnancy - did her sudden announcement have anything to do with Kat’s escape? Maybe she’d hit a chord in the girl. Thoughts whizzed too fast around her head to allow it to relax into sleep, and she knew her weyrmate felt the same.

She was right, however it was not the pregnancy that were the roots of C’stian’s thoughts. Their time as children had been happy, he told himself again and again. What had gone wrong? She wasn’t a horrible child, had many good friends, boyfriends too. What was wrong? Was it something he did?

Both were too busy blaming themselves to hear the soft footfalls in the hallway, the almost soundless oaths as the auburn haired girl went bump in the night. Too bad.

“C’stian? Are you awake?” The voice, however soft and tentative, broke through the light doze he had somehow fallen into during the smaller hours of the morning.

He groaned and turned over. “Not now, Hydee. It’s too early.”

There was a small grunt of annoyance. “It’s not Hydee, it’s me, Kat. Please wake up,” she asked, pleading softly.

“Kat!” He sat up suddenly, cringing and holding his head as he did so too fast. “Kat, what happened? Where’d you go?!”

She managed to look a little bashful, but said with her head held high, “I can take care of myself, you know.”

The death-look from her brother said plainly, ‘You’re on thin ice, missy. This had better be good.’

“Oh alright,” she amended, sitting heavily on the bed.

“Wha’?” Hydee sat up suddenly, with similar effects as her weyrmate. She opened one eyes groggily and winked. “Katanna? Is that... where on Pern have you been?!”

“She’s explaining, let her explain,” C’stian interrupted with a hand held out. He nodded for his sister to go on.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She had to tell them the whole thing, or nothing at all. Nodding slowly, she began. She told them about their foster parents treatment - Papa mainly - her unhappiness, and her boyfriend. She told them about Coren, what their beloved parents had done to her after he had been born.

The about-to-be-parents themselves watched goggle-eyed as the child - for she looked very much like a lost child right now - told her story. C’stian swallowed, feeling sick.

“Anyway,” she continued, taking a breath, “Yesterday when you said you were gonna have a baby, I... I guess I just freaked out.” She smiled wryly. “OK, understatement of the Pass, but I didn’t know what to do. I was about to tell you about Coren, ask for your help maybe. Then when you said that, I realised that you have your own life now. You’re not by big brother any more, ready to protect me and look after me. You’ve got a family.” She held up a hand to stop her brother’s objection. “I know you’re still my brother, but it’s not the same any more and you know it. When the baby comes, you’re not gonna want to take time out of being a rider and caring for a newborn to come on some expedition to help get Coren. I know and you know it.” She stopped and took a deep breath, looking at her brother.

C’stian regarded her with some surprise, but also a good deal of pride. “Wow, Kat,” he said, his eyes misting over slightly. “I... I guess you’re right.” Her face fell momentarily but she set her jaw and listened to him talk. He took a deep breath and tried to smile. “You sure have grown up since I last saw you. I remember you as this little kid who was always climbing trees, always had a least one skinned knee or elbow.” He paused and looked her over, taking in her womanly figure and shy smile. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” she asked, a little confused. “For what? You were only ever great to me, you know that.”

He shook his head, looking at her with brotherly love and a new type of adoration brought about by respect.

Hydee felt very much like an intrude on this quiet moment between brother and sister and suddenly thought of getting up for more klah, but didn’t. He knew C’stian well enough to know that if he didn’t want her there she’d know about it.

“When we were little I was a horrid brother. Even if I wasn’t plain mean I didn’t look after you like I should have. I should have known what was happening. And of that I’m sorry.”

Katanna actually grinned, reaching out to touch his cheek. “Don’t blame yourself. I should have told you sooner.”

They sat in silence, each gazing into the other’s eyes, smiling. C’stian broke away first and cleared his throat. “Well the past is the past and we can’t change what has already happened,” he admitted with some regret. “But we can change the present.”

Katanna looked at him, her eyebrows slightly raised in question.

“I want to help you get back Coren,” he said firmly.

“We do,” Hydee amended, looking at her weyrmate with deep affection. He smiled at her.

They both looked at Katanna, who was looking back at them in return, her mouth slightly open. She moved it as if to say something, then clamped it shut. Opened it again but paused, her eyes darting between her brother and her newly made friend. “Thankyou,” she said simply.